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Date: Thursday, December 02, 2010 Time: Thursday, December 02, 2010
they said he dw u anymore, dn love u anymore. but i dn believe. some say i forever wont get to have a guy tht love me tht can stand me. but i dk why. i hate myself for not able to let go. cried from tues night all the way till today. but whn im in sch i just have to hold on to it. i dk y im so silly. but what can i do, i just love him alot thats all. u might loved me more thn i do before. but in e end i love u more thn u do. really what can i do. i chased after u after stoning awhile, i just dw to lose the guy i love anymore. though nobody can see how hurt i am. they can laugh. some just say cheer up and started to laugh at me whn im crying. am i meant to be alone? i used to love to be alone alot alot. i really loved it. coz i wont be hurt anymore. i said i dislike being alone its true. but i love being alone is also true. so nobody get get close to me . even if they did they are not they close either. even if they leave me i wont be tht sad. everybody can say im sick. i dn care. coz i am. used to take depression medi. people laugh. tortured by my mum whn i was young alr is a part whereby i dw to rmb. go to sch with lots of cane marks. ppl laugh at me. i didn't want u to know so much about me so i put up a strong front. when i cried coz it haunts me all e time. wanted to tell u. but idk how to. i dw u to pity me. so tht u want to be with me. after i broke up with des. im scared to have another relationship . u know there are 3 other ppl tht were trying to come close to me. but i rejected all of them. coz i could feel the same in them. but i just dk y. idk y. i cant feel the same btwn u and thm. its just different. i wonder y. whn u send me msges i blushed. amelia make fun of me. she nv see me laughing whn i recieved msges before. ppl ask if u wanted to be single in e 1st place y do u want to be my bf. i said idk. idk how to ans them. u know. i miss single life too u know. but i dw to be single agn. it hurts. all i do was hide in a corner n cry. i couldn't laugh out loud. putting a strong front to just show others im ok so they wouldn't laugh at me. even my mum laugh whn she said飞走了对不对,she even said 你自找的。who will like a person like u. who will want to love u. just wanted to prove everyone wrong , i thought i have u by my side to help me step out of the things i scared most. e love u showered me with is wht i nv had before. just hope i was not wrong. i just wanted a chance. i just hope im not like wht others said. i love u alot. but i cant tell y. my heart just kept crying whn i see ur cold msges . i just wish we could start again. i really dn mind both of us just have a time off. to think of what we want. but i really dw u to leave me alone here. i really dk how to step forward anymore. after all the things i gone through i really dk anymore. im confused. going mad seriously i feel like dying. coz its killing me. i just dw to lose the smile had. that i nv had before. just wish im able to smile like this. u said things wont go my way all the time. all i can say it no did. just wish there is once. it will go my way. |